A Stoners Guide To Not Hating Spring Cleaning
Look. We can all admit that the collection of Uber Eats trash you accrued this winter is impressive. We haven’t even heard of half of those restaurants, and we’d love to hear the dos and don’ts some time, but let’s focus on being able to see your carpet again first. Spring is here so that means we can’t use the weather as an excuse to be lazy anymore. Break out the to-do list that has been building for the last months and let’s get cracking on some spring cleaning. It may seem like a daunting task just to get started, but with the right mindset, cleaning can actually be fun. I know, I know, that’s what your parents use to tell you, and it was never fun then so why would it be fun now?
W E E E E E D.
Cleaning the house can be one of the most fun things to do while high alone! It needs to get done one way or the other, so why not clean your house while high? Now don’t get ahead of yourself and just start burning everything in sight. If you take a fat dab of some heady indica concentrate you’re gonna want to just collapse into the softest trash pile where your couch once was and binge watch more Netflix. Getting that body high is great but it isn’t going to motivate you to do any cleaning. Spring is a great time to call on our good buddy, Sativa. No matter how you consume, sativa weed strains are generally considered to be uplifting and energetic. So smoke up and trick your brain into thinking that cleaning is a fun hobby you have! Invite Jack Herer over, throw on some good music (try “Feelin’ Good” on spotify if you wanna dance and sing along), and get down to it!
Spring cleaning can still suck if it takes too long. And you might find yourself running around placing random things in random places. I’m gonna let you in on a little spring cleaning tip my dad taught me when I was 10: “Clean from the outside in.” Now he certainly didn’t expect that the tip he shared with 10 year old me would eventually be shared on the internet for countless glassy eyes to read, but nonetheless he taught me to go around the edges of the room first and not to worry about making a bigger mess. Take everything that’s out of place and put it in a pile in the middle of the room. Then, when all you have left to clean is the pile, you can start to find a proper home for everything.
(Bonus Tip: While you’re busy cleaning, have some laundry running in the meantime. Efficient use of time + getting to take breaks from cleaning to do something else = happy brain)
Since becoming an adult I can’t say my habits have changed much; I still put everything on the wrong shelf because I still think I need those precious seconds, but I’ve been able to at least take my dad’s spring cleaning tips and apply them to the kitchen, the bathroom, and even my car.
My dad still claims that he wasn’t a smoker growing up, but I like to think he would’ve been a real big fan of sativas. Along with cleaning tips, he also passed down his ability to always be ready for a nap, regardless of when and where, so I think some energetic flowers like Green Quack or Durban Poison would’ve been right up his alley. But hey, once he’s retired, maybe he’ll use my cleaning tip. I know his garage could always use some TLC ?
Thanks to my old man, now I get paid to tell people on the internet how to clean. But hold on. You’re sitting there next to all your trash and the only thing clean is your weed jar? Don’t go back to your old wintery habits just because you’re out of your “cleaning supplies”. There’s no need to lose your cleaning groove just because you’re out of weed. Hop online or give us a call and we’ll have you restocked in no time, you don’t even need to leave your house! Whether you need some more motivation or want to forget about the literal ton of garbage you just dragged out of your studio apartment, we’ll be there faster than you can say, “Wow, how did I let it get this bad? Why do I have this many tennis balls? I don’t even play tennis. How long have they been here? Seriously, is someone breaking in just to leave me tennis balls to mess with me? Hmm. Maybe I should start cleaning more often than once a year during spring.” Whatever your plans are, we’re here to help you through your Diem.